Precipice: The Second Most Important Date of Your Life

Inspire. Create. Write.TM

The Second Most Important Date is...The Proposal.

Mike stood upon a precipice, the winds of change blowing through his sandy blond hair. He'd always been a hard worker, always fighting for his dream to be the best advertiser out there. If he wasn't working, he was not living. His mind aflame with new ideas and slogans, constantly rearranging them like a conundrum until they became something meaningful. After becoming the head of the advertising department at PPC. He afforded himself with maybe too much of an ego boost. In actuality his life was committed to what he was good at, nothing less, that is until this day had arrived....

"Sir, where would you like the ten thousand lilies?" Said the petite florist.

He looked down at her, puzzled and for all he was worth, he could not figure out where on the baseball pitch to put them. Jenna loved lilies, in fact, they had met at a flower shop. This proposal had to go perfectly, it had to be as perfect as the moment they shared their first kiss. The orchestra, the stadium lights, the lilies, the digital board saying ‘Will you marry me?’ It all had to gel together the way his adverts would...harmonious.

"Put the lilies in a half-circle arc around the stadium, the table in the center on the pitchers podium, then add the orchestra near the left field to utilize the acoustics there and top it all off with the ‘Will you marry me?’ appearing on the board when I actually ask the question." He told the stressed looking caterer. She scrambled off to organize his demands. He rubbed his hands together with a smile, everything should run smoothly now. Although maybe a long run on the treadmill might clear his head.

He climbed the stairs to his apartment greeting Buster on the way in. Little Buster had been the dog Mike had grown to love, he'd never been fond of pets before, that is until Jenna ‘liberated’ him from a lab and brought him to stay with them. He was a scruffy little mutt, a mutt that Mike would spend his Sunday afternoons combing through his hair to get rid of any excess. Mike sat at his desk surfing the net and checking the latest ads out. He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew he was at the beach with Jenna, Buster and 5 other dogs that she had decided to walk today... As they got to the beach he knew with certainty what was going to happen next. Jenna let all 6 dogs go! Unleashing them on the beach, not knowing, or rather not caring if it would be a mission to leash them all again, especially Buster. She ran with them, hair tossing in the wind, screams high in the air, she ran. The dogs followed her like a pack, barking excitement. Mike laughed, this was one of his favorite memories of her. A memory that illustrated just how free and uninhibited she was. Everything he was not, she was his polar opposite in almost every way. She was life! The very essence itself, life incarnate in all its beauty and terror. Yes, terror. Her ability to be so, so, so down to earth was unnerving. He'd never met anyone so unencumbered. With a jerk, he woke up and felt like the keyboard keys were engraved on the side of his face. He went out onto the balcony as if standing on a precipice, the winds of change blowing through his sandy brown hair. He'd reached his epiphany within that dream, that one very vivid dream. He was going to marry Jenna, he was going to get down on one knee and propose to her.

Racing down the streets, through the busy nightlife of Manhattan, Mike knew exactly where she would be. The one place she had always felt safe, the stock exchange building. An unusual choice but Jenna had once said that it was exactly that chaos and insanity that made her feel safe. She would just sit there and watch people rant and rave over the stock market, voice upon voice each trying to be heard but lost within the echoes. Trying to push through the crowd to find Jenna was impossible, he'd get lost before he made it even a quarter of the way. So he climbed on a desk and took the microphone.

"SHUrrrrrrrrrrrR UP!!!" Silence greeted him back. "Jenna! JENNA!! JEENNNAA!!!!!" There! He spotted her, the crowd parting along the way and there she was. Her hair was all scuffed up and she looked like she'd been crying. He jumped down and ran to her, gripping her against his chest.

"Why are you crying?" He asked tentatively.

"Buster ran away today," She replied into his chest.

He chuckled, "He came home baby, Abdul must have let him in.” She looked up at him with so much hope he couldn't stand it anymore. Adrenaline pumped through him, Jenna must’ve found herself a whole lot taller than him now.

He descended to one knee and looked up into her brown button eyes. "When we first met you told me that I was the most egotistical, power-driven man you'd ever met. Well, I stand before you, not as that man, I stand before you today as… your man. The one you taught how to smile, how to be comfortable in casual clothes, how to laugh at the silliest of things, how to take a day off and the one you taught how to live out his secret dream even if it was just for one night. Jenna your beauty has only one equal, your spirit. You are all that I breathe for and from this day forward you're all that I live for. I don't want money or success or even that award for the best advert. All I want and need is you. Give me an angel as sweet and lovely as you and I'll love her with everything I have. Give me a home and I'd love it with all I have. Give me you, and I will give you my heart and soul. Will you marry me?"

Jenna looked down at him with tears in her eyes, smiling, she uttered a word that galvanized at the very core of his being. "Yes!"

Their lips met passionately somewhere after that, in all the chaos that followed. Cheers and screams rang high in the building. Whether it was to something that happened in the market or to their engagement… no one will ever know.

DeviantArt Cred: LiquidTheoryInc

THE END

***

Authors Note

This is a short story, Cover Reveal can be found Here

The Most Important Date can be found Here

Special Thanks to LiquidTheoryInc for allowing me to use his artwork at the end.

Enjoyed that? Share your thoughts or even better, your personal proposal stories, I love reading those. 

If you would like to join the Blog Tag fun, click on the link or the Image below. 

~Be Kind to One Another~ Ellen Degeneres

Inspire Tag: What Motivates You?

Inspire. Create. Write.TM

1. What is the best advice you were ever given?

• No one cares how much you know until they know how much you Care.

2. Who inspires you and why?

• J.K Rowling. Her journey is one of those epic, unbelievably intense battles against adversity. Rock bottom became the foundation for which she rebuilt her life. Nothing inspires me more both as an author and a person.

3. Everyone has bad days, how do you deal with a bad day?

• I feel it all! Let everything in, embrace the darkness & shout into the void. Yes, there is comfort within even the darkest parts of you. Once you cuddle up to that beast, nothing can keep you locked away ever again.

4. Where do you go/what do you do when you need motivation?

• Hmm I'm a huge fan of personal development so when I need it, I have an arsenal of kick-ass, power-up videos & audios that I go through. That & I love chilling-out on my roof, watching the stars expand out in the night sky.

5. Failure is a big part of life, what has been your biggest failure to date?

• Haha if only you knew, as crazy as I am, I've failed more often than most. Last November I lost everything and I mean everything. Literally nothing to my name and a debt total that would astound most conservative people. To top it all my cat, Loki passed away in the worst way. For all intents & purposes, I was in ruin.

6. What is your biggest achievement?

• After years of agonizing torture and heartache, I finally admitted that I am a writer. Wrote my first novel at eighty-four thousand words (think a little over the first Harry Potter book length) in fourteen days. It is the first thing I have ever accomplished completely on my own. Had I not failed, I might not be where I am today.

7. Have you conquered any fears?

• Hell Yeah! I'm a bulldozer when it comes to fears. Fear of public speaking, fear of body image, fear of confrontation, fear of sharing my writing. The only way through. ..Is through! Once you do it, it's not so scary no more and helping other people see this has been a blessing.

8. Music helps lift our mood, What is your go-to song when you need a pick me up?

• Linkin Park-Given Up. It's just the rawness of the song, his voice, and the rhythm…takes me over the edge.

9. Complete the sentence, Happiness is…

• When you learn that helping others achieve it is a most worthy, a pursuit.

10. What do you do to clear your mind?

• Hahaha why would I ever want that? The mind is an intricate network of neurons and within their chaos is the beauty of creativity. I could never ask for a better gift.

11. Life can be stressful what are your top 3 things to unwind?

• Books, with them I can escape anywhere I want. The past, present, future. Magical societies, other dimensions, whole new worlds of wonder and possibility. 
• TV series, whistle* if anything Did, in fact, mellow my brain waves, this would be it. I binge like a bear before hibernation. 
• Video games, bring on the RPG's!

12. Have you watched any inspiring movies? Do you have any favorites?

• The Pursuit of Happyness
• A Fault in our Stars
• Interstellar

13. What is your favorite inspirational quote?

14. Do you listen to motivational speakers?

• Yuppity yup! I've had the privilege of meeting some of the greatest personal development legends from all over this planet. It's been a life-changing experience, to say the least.

15. How do you cope with unpleasant people?

• I apply this. "Some will, some won't. So what?...Next!" 
• I love meeting new people, the ones ready for change. Those are who stay with me. The others fall away without prejudice on my part. I just ain't got time for it. 

16. What is your best piece of advice?

• Dream Big, especially when all the world tells you not to.

17. Complete the sentence “When life gives you lemons…”

• Build a lemon ladder to the heavens :-D

18. What is the most inspiring book you have ever read?

• The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson.

19. Do you have a place to pray or meditate?

• If by that you mean, the place by which I say my affirmations. Then Yeah, my bed, in the morning before my feet touch the ground.

20. What is your motto in life?

• Words are Immortal.

Quick Fire:

Inspirational Movie or Talk with a friend

Creating Art or Listening to music

Making food or Eating Food

Being alone or Being in a crowd:

Being alone in a crowd? :-p

Writing or Singing:

Haha I'm sure Cassy would choose singing here.

...big reveal....Writing!

Sea Vacation or Safari Vacation:

We live in Africa. All we see are animals on land.

I want something different. So Sea Vacation.

This was mad-crazy fun to do & reading the answers of others is even more entertaining.
I urge everyone to join in on the Inspire Tag.

If you would like to join The Blog Tag awesomeness, click on the link or the image below:

~Be Kind to One Another~ Ellen Degeneres

Not Alone: The Beauty within a quiet moment of Reflection

Inspire. Create. Write.TM

Photography Cred: Me

Staring through my window, I look on as the summer rain drenches every individual blade of grass, in some way or another connecting sky and earth. Rain, being one of the many natural cycles that is essential to this planet, how could anyone not marvel at such simplistic process? The irony of it all I thought, how can one day seem amazingly perfect and complex yet the next be filled with so much pain it's hard to breathe?

I stood up abruptly not wanting to fall into the morbidity of such thoughts. I looked around my room and realized how crowded the walls seemed as opposed to years ago when I first painted it red and black in parallel to one another. Spending days here, reading and immersing myself in so many different worlds except my own, my blindness afforded my denial. There was no escaping it was there? Peace of mind would be unfathomable at this point. Not now, not when everything I touch is obscured by the vision of 'It' disintegrating before me, ashes. Just like ashes to the wind. There was a knock on the door and in that moment, a distinguished timeline seemed not to exist. I knew that the eventuality of my mistakes was upon me now.

                                                                          ***

I searched the classroom for her face and found it easily, her beauty always caught me off guard, no matter how many hours I had spent marveling at every detail of it. She wore a smile of understanding, I smiled back feeling secretive again wondering why I ever insisted that we keep what we have a secret. Then I realized that what we have, as I've always deduced, is inevitably either a sweet, sweet dream or maybe just a beautiful nightmare. How many days have I been in turmoil over what I had done to deserve such an angel? Countless. Her beauty has no equal and the beauty within her was even more of a rarity. In my reality, she would always by my dream and in her dream I would always be her reality. What a pair, the sky, and the earth, so very far apart yet connected in mysterious ways.                         

***

Before the pain…
Sometimes in life, you find a special person: Someone who changes your life, in impossible ways, just by being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you, that there is always an unlocked door just waiting for you to open. True Love is what holds you, the stuff of legend that binds you, in an unbreakable way, without any effort.
True Love and family… Ha! So naive was I, to have believed I could have both. What was I? If not, a soulless and selfish monster. No one alive could hate me more than I hate myself. 

I am an empty wondering idiot without a conscience, without purpose, and without hope.
A past erased and a future obscured. I am only left with the present, to live without anything besides one, just one, agonizing memory. 
What was it? Anger, pain, rage or disgust? I could not decide which to feel at once or even together. I knew but only one thing, that these emotions were nothing if not my immortal curse and mine alone to bear. 
They had taken me over so irrevocably it was as though they were given a conscience of their own. I was weak; I wanted, it to end, to die.
If only someone would be kind enough to give me my one true wish.
Death, it seems will always be both my enemy and my savior. 
You have to wonder, though. In the event that death is upon us, what would be the most intense aspect of it experienced? Would it be rage, despair, greed, sacrifice, destruction or even intoxication, madness, and nihilism?
Maybe the answer is, above all else, simplistic and a little ideal…. loneliness or old age? And yet still, the aspects of life seem to elude and discombobulate us.

***

Every family has their own domestic problems and after years of fighting against the tide, I just gave up, flowing with the current, not knowing where or when it would end. I would later find out just how wrong my decision was. The following disasters occurred; in my silence, my father felt he had failed me and chosen to revert back to the old ways of drowning his problems away at the bar with a favorite friend of his, named ''Brandy''. I could never understand how a man whose had a much longer time to be an adult than I, could not end such a cowardly habit or have any respect for himself at all but who was I to judge. I was still a beginner to life, a tenderfoot so to speak. The consequences of these actions then lead to my mother's depression, blaming herself for failing at her marriage and her misunderstood son. 

''Dad hurry up we are going to be late!!'' I urged my father as we were driving to the airport; after all the drama endured I would finally enjoy an independent, family-free holiday. In the distance, the airport came into view and with it a sense of unlimited excitement washed over me like that perfect wave all surfers dream of having. I was not going to waste it, as fast as humanly possible, we were at the gateway to the plane. My mother was in tears, my father looking like he was searching for the right thing to say and my sister feigned disinterest.

I knew there was no possible way to dissolve every issue before I left so I searched for the right words to say what I knew I would mean. ''I'm going to miss you.'' Was all that escaped my lips. My mother burst into tears and so did my sister, the both of them held closely by my father, clearly in no state to talk.

''Have a good trip and be safe son.'' My father replied, with a look of discomfort on his face. A little disappointed I walked away, a single tear of pain flowing down my cheek. ''WE LOVE YOU!!'' Shocked I turned around and saw my father too in tears, waving. I smiled and waved back until my view of them disappeared as I entered the gateway.

The plane trip was finally over, leaving me agitated and annoyed. The married couple next to me were constantly finding ways to grope each other secretively, with no success I might add. Whispers of ''I love you'' and ''I love you more'' were continually exchanged between the newlyweds, which drove me to the point of insanity and made my non-belief in love grow immensely. Sherlock Holmes once said that ''When you've eliminated all of the impossible, however improbable, only the truth will remain....'' Which begs the question what is love? How can one ascertain the truth of love if we live in a world where love is commercialized and it's true meaning abandoned when teenagers and majority of the public decide that after months of dating the next logical step would be the ''I love you'' part right? When clearly they've only offered the written meaning of what love is in the dictionary and not a personalized unaltered meaning of their own. How can one believe that love exists on the pretext of knowing that the French invented the word to bed women and play Casanova? It all becomes very complicated compared to the simplicity of it explained in books and movies. And still, those cheap meanings are still incredibly enticing and seductive, even I have longed to experience something so illogical, the novelty of it and all that. 

Upon arriving at the hotel, I immediately admired my surroundings: A huge entertainment area complete with a flat-screen TV, a mini bar, a recliner and even a light dimmer. And the luxuries continued with a magnificent en-suite complete with a multi-faceted shower for a massaging wake-up call, a refined almost heavenly Jacuzzi and yet another flat screen TV for the guest's viewing pleasure. A Massive king size bed with accessories like the most comfortable pillow I've had the honor of resting my head on, sheets that felt like Egyptian silk and of course a phone to indulge in late night food cravings. And finally the most important part, the view. Standing on the balcony marveling at the impossibly beautiful landscape of Rome, all my problems seemed to disappear with a long awaited and relaxed sigh. 

It was about two in the morning when I received the call that would change my life forever. Apparently after they had dropped me off and were heading back home, a drunk inexperienced driver lost control of the car causing a massive collision ending the lives of 12 people including my family’s. For several moments that felt like an eternity to me, I stood frozen next to the bed not thinking of anything in specific or able to move any muscle. ''They are alive, it was just a nightmare.'' Was the only thought recurring in my head as I raced to the terminal. I wasn't in denial, I wasn't in pain, I just needed to prove my nightmare wrong to know that the family I had neglected were at home… for me to redeem myself and ask for their forgiveness. They just had to be there, someone's family just couldn't be taken away in so instantaneously. Could they?

By the time I reached home I was already aggravated to the point of screaming at the taxi driver for his slow services, I through a bunch of notes at the undeserving driver and hurried into the driveway, bags in hand. What I saw brought me to my knees; both families were there, my father's side and my mothers, all in tears consoling one another in a feeble attempt to promise hope, hope they did not have to promise. The pain of realizing my worst possible fear was confirmed; it was unbearable, paralyzing every cell in my body. The pressure of it brought me to my knees and I stared in horror as the wind blew away everything, the house, the walls even the grass! Then there was only darkness, it devoured me and I welcomed it with open arms. 

***

''Ever since my mind has permitted me to remember, I grew up with the most compassionate woman I've ever had the honor of meeting. She taught me of what it means to give selfless unconditional love without any thought or expectancy of the outcome. Her life was filled with emotion and caring for this family. Every day she struggled to make each of us hap—''

I paused only to lose more of a breathing rhythm, I thought I could be strong, I thought I could ignore my emotions for just this day, to be strong enough for everyone else but I couldn't, in this moment I felt wave after crashing wave of torture. I looked at their faces all hanging on my every word, searching for hope and strength that I could not provide. And then, there she was at the end of the hall looking straight into me with a kind of compassionate intensity, in that instant, she became my bond to sanity… for the time being. Behind her were my parents and my sister, they were smiling… apparently unaware of their deaths. I knew then that I could be strong enough, strong for this day and not tarnish my family's memory.

This wasn't the time to cause more pain when the one everyone was experiencing that day was crippling enough. So instead I talked about how much my parents taught my sister and me, how entranced they would get over a game of scrabble. I spoke about all the things that made us a family; that made us unique.

''Our minds are the birthplace of ingenuity, of all decision and we have to work through our hearts and not from it, to achieve life's true meaning. My family has passed, and they'll never take another breath again. I don't know what will happen now but I do know they'll never truly be gone, as long as we keep those memories we have of them close and carrying them with us throughout our lives.''
Yet again another single tear shot down my cheek, I hastily wiped it away hoping no one saw. Looking up to the back of the room I saw her again, with my family on the cornerstones of her shoulders. ''Thank you all for coming, it means a lot to me.'' With that, I walked over to the coffins and placed a rose over each of their bodies, not realizing that at each coffin I had squeezed the stem of each rose so hard that it had caused my hand to bleed. The physical pain was somehow irrelevant at this point. In my sister's coffin, I placed a picture of her dancing, in my mother’s, a picture of our family in one of those unanimously and rare happy moments. In my fathers, a picture of him and I after a long day of bonding through the art of fishing. As I got off the platform, through my tear-filled vision, I saw that a figure was moving rapidly towards me, the way a rocket would through space and time. I could only regard this as a threat, instinctively shielding myself with my hands, but then the figure surprised me by launching its weight against me… embracing me and in finality, I knew it was her. She'd been waiting to take me away, away from the crowd so they wouldn't see me let go.

As the coffins were lowered into their resting place one by one I let out one final whisper to them, ''Love you.''

THE END.

There is Beauty within a moment of quiet reflection. In hope, I wish we all find it.

~"Be kind to one another."~ Ellen DeGeneres

************************************

Breaking News* The official website launched yesterday for The Blog Tag! If you're interested in taking part either follow the link or click on the image below which will take you to the Aesthetically Blog-tastic Website.

The Fosters (TV Series): Review

How do you define Family?

Teenager Callie Jacob is placed in a foster home with a lesbian couple and their blend of biological, adoptive and foster children.

This is the best family oriented show on TV right now. No contest.

Why? Because it’s not conventional! That’s why. It’s not that Seventh Heaven wholesome white church going family, of melodrama fakeness. (PS not hating, I did enjoy that show. Just didn’t enjoy the “perfect picture” it painted)

Hate groups beware, haha.

With Steph and Lena, they face every kind of lesbian/gay problem around but still come out showing that love transcends all.

With Callie & Brandon you get the classic of forbidden love. Seeing as they are Foster brother and sister. I can’t explain why it’s compelling to root for them but it just is.  I honestly have no idea if it will ever be possible for them to be together.

With Mariana you see her start off as the most self-centered person ever and slowing begin to evolve into a great Latina hottie (Just joking......or maybe not. Watch to find out).

With Jude you see him battle with his sexuality and gradually start to understand more about it.

With Jesus, well honestly I don’t know what’s up with that dude. But you can enjoy the hot girls he seems to attract to him.

I remember ploughing through the seasons all in one weekend when I happened upon it in my download search. The storylines are very gripping, not always going in the directions you think it will.

It makes you understand more about the Foster system and also some of the problems that they face on a daily basis. It will leave you cheering, crying, shouting, laughing and then cheering some more.

I truly enjoyed that family can come in any shape or form as long as there is love, nothing can tear them apart.

Can’t wait to see what happens next....

Personal rating: 8/10

In the days to come, I will add more reviews of my favorite TV shows and Movies. 

Let me know your thoughts about the show. All views are welcome.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be honored if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend, or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook/Tumblr. Thank you!

A Life without Traffic

Inspire. Create. Write.TM

Ghost Cars!!!!

Flying cars are so over-done.
Teleporters are so over-done. Try this on.

I know that might sound scary, but bear with me. This is all going to make you wish it were real.

Today was THE day, the day I could not contain my anger any longer. I just had to pull my car over, away from the traffic. Worst Case Scenario? I would’ve gotten out of my car and taken a wheel spanner to every other car in sight. Traffic is probably the worst possible frustration there is for working class citizens. From annoying zig-zaging, lane-changing drivers to motorcyclists that you both envy and detest.

I got out of my car (POLO vivo blueline metallic) and began pacing in a feeble attempt to calm my nerves. After spending almost a year working from home, being thrust back into the congested highways was not entertaining in the slightest. A lightning bolt flashed down my spine and I had a wondrous thought.

What if all cars were Ghost Cars?

Technically it would be cars that could phase through solid matter, dispersing their particles on command. A car with an “Intangible” mode, if you will. Able to transverse from locations without little to no impediments along the way.

“NO MORE TRAFFIC!” I’d imagine this would be the Headlines should such a car be invented.

“Just one big idea. One big idea, and we can change the world.”

Think about it, I have, vigorously. Especially after this morning and the building frustration, I feel everyday. If cars can phase through each other, there would be no need to ever be stuck behind a slow driver or a goliath-sized truck or a construction block. No need to change lanes, no need to swerve (*never swerve, always break) to try to avoid an accident…on that point No More Accidents! And us praying it wasn’t someone we knew.

We could drive however we want and how ever slow we want. Oooh and no more traffic fines! Seriously a bribed cop is no cop at all.

There would be Peace on the Roads!

Ever since I came back from Japan and got to see how efficient their public transport system is, I am left wanting. Even in a crowded train there, there is air conditioning and everyone has good hygiene. During peak times, there were literally about 4-5 cars on the roads. Everybody walks and uses the trains to travel. It’s splendid! If only more governments and countries could be as organized as that.

But until then the Ghost Car fantasy lives on!

And I will be looking like this should it ever be invented….

                                        Pic found on Deviantart.com – user: woodsac

So Ghost Cars, yay or nay?

Comment below on all your traffic pet peeves and woes. I look forward to hearing it all.

I’m definitely writing a short story on this. Will update this post and create a new one as soon as it’s finished.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be honored if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend, or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook/Tumblr. Thank you!

What unites us as human beings is an urge for happiness which at heart is a yearning for union. ~ Sharon Salzberg

Vaya con Dios

*****************

A fan of this post, sent me this photo:

If you would like to join in the fun of The Blog Tag. Click on the link or the picture below. 

Novel: Behind the scenes

Question: Why am I writing this?
Answer: It's my first blog post and my first time writing a novel.

I started my novel somewhere on the 20th January 2016 and finished my first draft on the 4th February 2016, with the irrational thought that it would be polished enough. See I've had this scene playing in my head for years and some nights just before I would fall asleep, I would play out this scene. The characters would change depending on whatever I was in to at the time, i.e. teen wolf, black dagger brotherhood series, twilight, the originals to name a few. Eventually, I decided to put it down into words, the hilarious thing is that it took me Twenty chapters, that's right Twenty chapters to get to the scene I'd dreamed about. I remember I worked through the night and most of the morning when I got close to chapter Twenty, writing like a mad man because I needed to get the chapter out. That was definitely an amazing milestone, to see your scene all there... in words. Conceptualized and visualized, taking form in this fictional world you created. There's no other feeling like it, but then again I was high of no sleep. Writing the book was an amazing journey, from having the basic outline in your mind to actually going into the chapters, splitting up the plot to lead up to one another. I don't think I ever got writer's block per say, as I wrote each chapter the next one would form but there were days when the idea for the next chapter would come but the words wouldn't come with it, not so easily as the others did anyway. So I would have to walk around, lie on a bed, go outside, have more showers than is necessary (LOL). Just do anything mundane so that my mind would wander enough to figure out the next chapter or scene.

I am probably one of the kings of procrastination, heck if I wasn't I would have started this novel last year November. I was at home, I had the time. But instead, all I did was download movies and tv series, then watch them. Every series and movie I could find that I like, I got it.

I would like to say I found the will power to eventually write but it was more like I basically ran out of the stuff I like to watch and then my cat died, leaving an empty hole no movie or series could fix.

So back to the book, I finally finished it!!! Which is awesome but I dunno, I enjoyed
the climb more than getting to the peak.... I'm definitely not at
the top yet that would be once the book gets's published but writing the draft was an awesome experience. I learned a lot about myself in the process.

What's the problem then?
EVERYTHING that comes after your first draft manuscript. I submitted my story to a few beta readers, mostly the ones that offered to do it for free but one beta was generous enough to help with the first 5000 words. Whistle* what an eye opener. Firstly in my haste to finish the novel, I left out a lot of description and detail. focusing on progressing the story and dialogue.
Here's what I need to sort out:
How much of the actual street names or places do I need to include?
Some of my characters descriptions I kind of broke up through the story, is this ok?
Dialogue reduction maybe?
Location descriptions and building the world.
Do I really have to include street names? or actual distances between objects?

Anywho, she edited some of it and gave me the sample, the errors I made were grievous I should have self-edited more before giving it out to the betas. Also since I live in South Africa and the book is based in Seattle, there were some words that we use that Americans don't.
Luckily I met a girl online named Rachel and she helped me greatly understand the American way. specifically school themes like summer vacation, subjects, schedules.

There's just so much information out there about self-publishing, agents, editing, beta reading, building a following. it's insane to try and keep up. I've read many blogs and watched many author interviews, they barely talk about the insanity after you finish the novel. I promise myself that if I ever give an interview or am talking to fans I will tell them exactly what happens after you finish a novel. because it's scary business the time frame of it all. it's been 5 days since I finished the novel and I'm nowhere near sending out a query letter.

Here are some links that I'm going to be using post first draft:
https://querytracker.net/top-10-agents.php
http://veronicarothbooks.blogspot.co.za/2010/08/strive-always-for-normalness-my-advice.html
http://blog.nathanbransford.com/
https://prowritingaid.com/en/Account/Register2?returnUrl=%2Fen%2FAnalysis%2FEditor%3Fnobreak%3Dtrue%26userTextId%3D5205%26userTextKey%3Dfff08770-38a8-4dc1-a214-4418f43ec72d#
====>>>An amazing free editing site.
https://savvybookwriters.wordpress.com/category/agents/
http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/young-adult-literary-agents

Now I have to go back, figure out how to creatively make the narrative more provocative, add on to character and location description then fix the dialogue tags. I'm not sure whether I should give my self a date to query with an agent.
Because I also I have the daunting task of creating a query letter. I mean how's a new writer with no writing credentials make his/her bio sound good? I can't lie, I can't go instantly get a writing credit under my name. I haven't seen any writing conferences here in south Africa to go to. Besides, all the best sellers here are mostly nonfiction or about race and a lot of historical incidents. Sigh.
I am going to believe in myself and my stories, that we will somehow change this unfairness in my country, by giving more fiction and science fictions writers a bigger market to step into.

I'll end this first blog entry now with the hope that I can get this all done in a timely manner.